wah wah wah

i am jealous and bitter, i won't deny it. i wish i wasn't though.

and i know you would say that brings you no pleasure, but i know it would, you know damn well i would be envious.
you are not as righteous as you claim/pretend/try to be. and then by acknowleging your imperfections, you play out round 2 of How-Great-I-Am, able to recognize and accept your faulty masculine traits. woe is me, I Am Man.

of course i'm jealous, of course i continually wonder, in the same breathe, why not me/why HER?
again, the question remains, who are you lying to.
escape simply masked in new hope. yea, right.

also - dip in running = dip in my sanity. the things we grow to rely upon, never steadfast. ah the elusive athletics metaphor, just when you think something is going well it can easily be taken away, without a second to ponder.